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Tips To Talk To Teens from Teens by Danielle Faczan

As kids grow older, it becomes harder and harder for parents to talk to them about their lives, especially once they reach teen-hood. Whether it be something as simple as how their school day was, or as difficult as asking about bullying and cyberbullying, teenagers won’t open up easily. Although professionals may give advice to parents about how to talk to their kids, is it really the best choice? Or does the best advice come from teens themselves? Hey U.G.L.Y. – Unique Gifted Lovable You, the nonprofit that empowers youth to be part of the solution to bullying wanted youth to give parents insights into bridging the communication gap.

"The best advice comes from kids" commented high school junior Deanna Menke. "Adults giving advice to other adults is like the blind leading the blind. They know about as much as other parents do"

For example, high school senior Lucas Neuhold explained that a teen’s one word reply to questions like, "How is your day" just means they are tired. "When we answer ’Fine’ or ’Okay’, it just means we are too tired to talk about anything at the time" Neuhold explained. "Parents don’t understand how exhausting school is for teens"

School itself may not necessarily be the cause of teen exhaustion, but it certainly adds to it. According to mayoclinic.com , "everyone has an internal clock that influences body temperature, sleep cycles, appetite and hormonal changes. The biological and psychological processes that follow the cycle of this 24-hour internal clock are called circadian rhythms. Before adolescence, these circadian rhythms direct most children to naturally fall asleep around 8 or 9 p.m. But puberty changes a teen’s internal clock, delaying the time he or she starts feeling sleepy often until 11 p.m. or later"

If teens aren’t falling asleep until eleven or later, then have to wake up around five or six the next morning, how are they supposed to attain the nine hours of sleep needed each night? It’s no wonder teens are exhausted after school, work, homework, and other activities, and give little information about their day to parents. "I think, maybe parents don’t always have the full perspective about what’s going on" said Kurt May, a seventh grader. "Maybe the kids are leaving something out and [the parents] don’t have the puzzle pieces to put it back together"

There are times where parents have to play "detective" in order to understand what their child is trying to say. They may have to ask several different questions or ask only one question and rephrase it multiple times. Kids have stories to tell on a daily basis; this is where playing "detective" comes in. To understand the entirety of the story, a parent has to put forth the time and effort to uncover the "puzzle pieces", as May would say.

Let Them Be Little « My Heart's Home

And it didn’t waste any time plucking my heartstrings.

What made matters worse was that darn video was chockfull of candid Kodak moments. Kindergartners: smiling toothless grins; hanging upside down from monkey bars; sitting cross-legged on chalk-covered concrete; waving blue painted handprints; eating icing-all-over-chin cupcakes; holding newborn chicks, Easter baskets, slimy toads and each others’ hands (sniff, sniff)–a year’s worth of documented memories of my little boy’s kindergarten experience– as that darn song played!